MARRIAGE AND PARENTING

link3One of our 9 Core Values is Intentional Families.  We are committed to equipping our members so that they can build and maintain strong, healthy, and biblical marriages and families.  As a matter of fact, we recognize that the Lord has established the home as the proving ground for church leadership; therefore, men and women who lead well in their homes will be called upon to lead the church.  Therefore, we offer marriage and parenting classes and seminars, premarital counseling, and pastoral marriage counseling.

Grace Based Parenting Seminar

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On April 20, Pastor Mike hosted the first of 2 parenting conferences for 2016. The topic was “Grace-Based Parenting,” and the seminar consisted of 5 video sessions from Dr. Tim Kimmel. Click the link below and print out the handouts for each session. Then, follow the instructions below to go to the RightNow Media web site to view the videos.

Grace Based Parenting Handouts

Before you go to the video page, please understand that there are more videos available than Mike presented at the seminar. In order for the videos to line up with the handouts you just printed out, please know that this is how that handouts and the videos correspond with each other…

Handout Session 1 = Video 1: The Big Picture of Grace Based Parenting
Handout Session 2 = Video 3: The Truth Behind Grace
Handout Session 3 = Video 4: A Secure Love
Handout Session 4 = Video 5: A Significant Purpose
Handout Session 5 = Video 6: A Strong Hope

Feel free to watch the rest of the videos.  There just won’t be handouts for them, so you’ll have to take notes the old fashioned way!

To watch the videos, you must have set up a free account with RightNow Media.  This is a free service for Foothills people paid for by Foothills Fellowship.  If you have not set up your account, either 1) find the email that was sent to you about this from Rosemarie Briggs and set up your account from the link in the email or 2) contact Rosemarie at the Foothills office (FoothillsABQ@gmail.com) to have the email resent to you. Then, take one of the following steps – depending on what works…

STEP 1: Click this link: www.rightnow.org/Content/Series/315. If it goes right to the video series page, then you are ready to go. If not, try step 2.

GraceBasedParentingSTEP 2: Log in to your RightNow Media account by going to www.rightnow.org and logging in.
Once you’ve logged in, under the LIBRARIES menu on the left side of the page, scroll down and click FOOTHILLS FELLOWSHIP.
Then, click the Grace Based Parenting picture (it looks like the picture on the right).
This will take you to the video page, and you can play the videos from there.

Want to read the book?  Click here to order Grace Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel from Amazon.

Visit the Grace Based Parenting Web Site at www.gracebasedparenting.com

Marriage Seminar: Sharpening Your Communication Skills

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This seminar was presented by Pastor Mike on January 31, 2016 as a fast-paced two-hour seminar.  Here, the seminar is broken up into 6 sections that you and your spouse can work through together at your own pace.  Each section contains audio and a few contain video as well.  Also, each section offers a downloadable worksheet that you can print out and use to take notes.  Simply follow the instructions, and make sure to allow a good amount of time for discussion.  May the Lord use this material to enhance the communication in your marriage!


SECTION #1: Intro: Why Marriage and Why Communication? 10 minutes.

1. Print out this sheet (one for each person).

2. Listen to the audio and fill out the sheet as you do.


SECTION #2: One Big Marriage Communication “Virus” (And 8 Ways the Virus Attacks the Marriage) 35-45 minutes.

1. Print out this sheet (one for each person).

2. Watch this video:

3. Listen to the audio and fill out the sheet as you do.

4. Discussion: Share which boxes on the worksheet you both marked. Then, take some time to confess the “viruses” you are responsible for in the marriage and verbalize how you see these viruses contributing to the corruption of your marriage and the breakdown of communication. If forgiveness is needed, be willing to ask for and/or offer it. Then together, make a plan for 1) how you will stop “infecting” the marriage and 2) how you can help your spouse stop “infecting” the marriage.  Spend time in prayer. Confess your communication shortcomings to the Lord, pray for one another, and pray for your marriage.


SECTION #3: The 4 Biblical Rules of Communication 35-45 minutes.

1. Print out this sheet (one for each person).

2. Listen to the audio and fill out the sheet as you do.

3. Discussion: Talk about which of the 4 rules you (individually) do well and which ones (individually) you need to improve on. Talk about how you plan to do this, and talk about ways you can help one another do it.  Spend time in prayer. Confess your communication shortcomings to the Lord, pray for one another, and pray for your marriage.


SECTION #4: Analyzing the Communication in Your Marriage 35-45 minutes.

1. Print out this sheet (one for each person).

2. Listen to the audio and fill out the sheet as you do.

3. Discussion: What could we do (individually and/or together) to move our communication rating higher? Based on our individual pattern of expressiveness, what can we do (individually and/or together) to better account for our differences? In other words, how can we better validate one another and better communicate in light of the different ways we express ourselves? Talk about whether or not conflict resolution in your families growing up is impacting the way the 2 of you attempt to resolve conflict today. If the impact is negative, discuss what can be done to overcome it. Share how you answered both questions about conflict resolution styles at the bottom of the page. Talk about how both of you can improve on how you work toward conflict resolution. How can you both move toward respectfully cooperating and accomplishing an acceptable resolution for both?  Spend time in prayer. Confess your communication shortcomings to the Lord, pray for one another, and pray for your marriage.


SECTION #5: The 6 Levels of Communication 35-45 minutes.

1. Print out this sheet (one for each person).

2. Watch this video and fill out the sheet as you do.

3. Listen to the audio and fill in anything on the sheet you may have missed.

4. Discussion: Share what you marked (D2D, CONF, and + and -) and talk about what needs to happen in your relationship to allow for the bottom 3 levels to be entered into safely together. Spend time in prayer. Confess your communication shortcomings to the Lord, pray for one another, and pray for your marriage.


SECTION #6: Five Quick Marriage Communication “Hacks” 10-15 minutes.

1. Print out this sheet (one for each person).

2. Listen to the audio and fill out the sheet as you do.

3. Discuss: Talk to each other about which of these “hacks” would be helpful in your marriage.  Are there other “hacks” you can think of?  Spend time in prayer. Confess your communication shortcomings to the Lord, pray for one another, and pray for your marriage.


MARRIAGE COMMUNICATION RESOURCES

YouTube Videos

Books
Rescue Your Love Life by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend There’s a good chapter on communication.
Strengthening Your Marriage by Wayne Mack There’s a good chapter on communication.
On-line Articles

Premarital and Marriage Counseling

The pastors at Foothills require premarital counseling for all couples planning to be married at Foothills. They also offer pastoral counseling to Foothills couples who are in need of occasional check-ups or who are facing difficult times in their marriages.  For major marriage counseling needs, they will recommend professional counseling outside the church.

The pastors are trained in and use the SYMBIS assessment. It is an online assessment that is taken by both the prospective bride and groom. A summary report is then emailed to the pastor who uses it to facilitate discussion with the couple. Click here for more information.

Weddings

Our building is a wonderful place for a wedding and/or reception for 225 guests or less.
Click here to view the Wedding Policy Form.

IMG_6645-1Click on the picture for a bigger look at our
worship center decorated for a recent wedding.